Tonight as I rocked Luke before bed, I got really sad. Today he turned 9 months old and I was thinking about how fast the time has flown. I had on a CD -
Night Night Classics - that we used to turn on when he was first born. Every time I hear certain songs I feel nostalgic - I even got teary when one was played in church a few weeks ago as the offertory. Tonight as I was listening to Clair De Lune and Sicilienne, I was thinking about how I rocked Luke in his cradle to those same songs 9 months ago. I remembered how the light looked out the window on the freshly fallen snow. I remembered how warm it was in his room even though the rest of the house was freezing. I remembered the feeling of being completely exhausted and content at the same time.
I thought about how I could ever feel this way toward another baby, should God give us another some day. How can I ever love like I love this firstborn? Sometimes I can hardly breathe. Does it feel this way for each new bundle? I sure hope so - but if not, I'll surely never tell!
Anyway, here are the latest pictures of said firstborn. Sunday night we went to a friend's house for supper and conversation. Their little girl is 1 1/2 weeks younger than Luke. He had fun playing with her toys - she had a neat little zoo setup with gadgets all over.
"Aww, mom. Enough pictures!"
3 comments:
Katie, Your question reminds me of Uncle Jay. He wondered to his pastor one day about having enough love of the many new grandchildren that were tumbling into his life for a few years there. He loved that first one so much - how would his heart hold more? I don't remember the exact answer from the pastor but it had something to do with love being a self- multiplying emotion. The more you love the greater your capacity to love. Just remember that you are a firstborn too - your mother still has those nostalgic tears for the years that went too swiftly by and now the miles that divide. (And no less for the secondborn, thirdborn, and fourthborn.)
I was having those same thoughts a few days ago. I called my friend, who just had her 2nd, and asked her. She said the love didn't hit her so hard at first like it did with her firstborn, but it DID come.
Kyle is sick and miserable and I just thank God every day for the miracle of his life.
I'll say it again, he's the cutest!
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